Quick Dialogue Between Johnson and the Knee

Ben Franklin wrote a dialogue between himself and his gout. It's my turn to be mad at my body.

For years, I've been living with a bum knee. It's pretty much hindered my entire life. Last night, my knee bent sideways while I was bowling.

You have no idea what gross sounds like until you've heard your knee bend sideways.



Johnson: You are an asshole.

Knee: No, I'm a knee.

Johnson: No, you're an asshole. You pop out of socket for no reason other than your sick enjoyment of gravity vs. body.

Knee: Yeah, true. It was kind of funny when you just toppled over while bowling.

Johnson: That hurt, by the way.

Knee: It was worth it.

Johnson: Is it worth the swollen-ness and pain today?

Knee: Come to think of it, no.

Johnson: You're an idiot.

Knee: Yeah, but this idiot holds all the power and controls a good half of you body. Boo-yah!

Johnson: I hate you. I'm going to get you sliced up and sewn back together with surgery.

Knee: Nooooooooooooooo!

Johnson: Oh, yeah. In a few months, we'll be running again. Imagine that. Running! It's been years.

Knee: This isn't fair.

Johnson: Me: 1. Knee: 0.

Knee: It's more like Knee:8. You: 1.

Johnson: True. But not for long.

Knee: Fine. Get the surgery. But remember, the rest of you is allergic to pain killers.

Johnson: ... Crap ...

Knee: Knee: 9. You: 1.