Italiancize it!

I'm over itallics.

Bold is boring.

Underlining is dead.

I want a new font treatment. I want Italiancize. I want to hit Cmmd/Ctrl i and see my type covered in hair and gold chains. I want my words to change from my blah, accent-less speech to New Jersey, Mafia boss phonetics.

I want a whole library of stereotypically based font families.

Pigeon Toe would make all of the serifs point inwards.

Introverd would be similar to upping the kerning like crazy. All of the letters would try to be alone.

Hunched would make the the tops of every letter a little, well, slouchy.

One treatment would cause all of the i and j dots to droop. I'd call it [censored for political correctness].

Hey, don't censor my blog you [censored]ing sons of bleeding [censored]ups.

Who is doing that? Stop censoring my blog! This isn't funny. Freedom of speech! Freedom of speech.

Don't make me Hannibize this font! Oh, wait. That wouldn't work. The letters would just start eating one another.