I'm not going to make it to June of '08.

Dear Batman,

It's me again. I just wanted to let you know how excited I am for "the Dark Knight" to open in theatres. I hear you're pretty tight with the director and studio, so could you maybe ask them to release it early? You know, get the editing and stuff done like, oh, next week?

Because I can't breath. I need to see this movie. The comic books and the teasers online aren't enough. I want to see in your batty goodness on screen. In full color. At the IMAX.

(I'm not even sure what IMAX is. I know the screen is taller than it is wide. Why this is so awesome, I don't know. I guess it's like a portrait photo vs. a landscape photo. And the negative is really big so the picture is super sweet. But couldn't they make a really big negative that's horizontal? I mean they (proverbial they) have been selling us on wide screens forever and now IMAX is doing the opposite. And then saying it's better! Just seems weird. But as long as I get to see you kick some serious ass, I could care less about the format.)

And the Joker! I've always had an uneasiness about clowns. They're just creepy. But there's something about that Joker. He's just so ...

... evil.

He's a complete sociopath. But he's a genius! I read today about the opening scene where he's revealed and, well, I got that funny feeling that I used to get climbing the rope in gym class.*

I can't wait to see you two play cat and mouse. Will he outsmart you? Will you leave me rolling on the ground, unsatisfied, begging for a third flick?

Are you going to punish me?

I think we need to meet for coffee, Batman. So we can discuss this in person. And I can get your autograph. And we can play Rescue the Helpless Girl and Take Her to Your Batcave. That would be oh so cool. I'll even put my hair in pigtails, if you'd like.

Or are you going to be too busy battling the dregs of Gotham? I recently read that Predator made a visit to your not-so-fair city. But you, naturally, triumphed. I knew you would. Some dreadlocked, clicking alien doesn't stand a chance against your cleverness and pectoral muscles.

Batman, I'd eat meat for you. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Is it getting hot in here? I'm not wearing a kevlar suit or anything like you do, but I'm feeling warm. Maybe I should take off this constricting towel.

...

I love you. XOXOXXXO
-Veronica

*That doesn't happen to girls, I know. It's funny, though. Admit it.