Haikus About the Winter Holidays
Oh Christmas Tree, oh
Christmas Tree, how lovely are
your branches. Today.
Jews have Hannakuh.
How do you spell Channakuh?
AHH! Too many ways!
Have you heard the rap song
Written by Dr. Dreidel?
"Made outta clay, bitch!"
My snowman melted.
I was just drying his hair
With a blow dryer.
Frosty the Snowman
Was a jolly happy soul
Until the spring came.
When I was little
He knew when I was sleeping.
Santa was creepy.
Cats climb Christmas trees.
Dogs sleep under Christmas trees.
Squirrels? They poo in 'em.
It is time to feast.
The holidays mean eating.
Wasn't that last month?
"Going to lose weight.
Your new year's resolution.
Ha! Good luck, fatty!
Dad, for my present,
No joke, I would like to have
Piano lessons.
If no piano,
Because you think I'm too old,
Can I have sneakers?
Wreaths on car bumpers
Look really really stupid.
I will kick your wreath.
That's alot of stuff.
That house looks like Las Vegas.
Electric bill death.
Holiday cookies
Enhanced with herby goodness
Will make X-Mas bright!
Frankincense and myrrh?
Wise Men, heard of Target?
Apparently not.
Ebenezer Scrooge
Was a selfish crabby dude.
With a sweet top hat.
I've been good all year.
So that I can hunt for eggs.
Oh wait. That's Easter.
Happy holidays.
Whichever one you prefer.
(But Christmas is best!)
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