I probably have the flattest, non-regional American/United States accent possible.
I've got that kind of accent-less way of speaking that only newscasters possess.
And it's about time to shake up the status quo. So I've decided to weigh the pros and cons of various twangs that I can affix to my English.
English
Pro: It's always cool to be the token Brit.
Con: It's not always cool to be the token douche.
Pro: I'd sound smarter.
Con: I wouldn't be smarter.
Pro: Everything coming from my mouth would be beautiful.
Con: My teeth would instantly become crooked and rot.
French
Pro: I sound sexy.
Con: I sound evil.
Pro: People would think I'm exotic.
Con: People would think I'm French.
Pro: I would be viewed as more attractive.
Con: I'd have to stop shaving my arm pits.
Northern North America
Pro: My accent would be subtle and go unnoticed at first.
Con: Until I say, "Eh?"
Pro: I could increase my accent when I get drunk.
Con: I would accidentally decrease it when sober.
Pro: People would always ask, "Where are you from?"
Con: I'd have to reply, "Canada."
Australian
Oh, hell no.
Southern
Pro: "Are you Sue Ellen Ewing?"
Con: "Are you retarded?"
Pro: Men would think it's cute.
Con: Men would think it's cute.
Pro: People in my field of study wouldn't take me seriously.
Con: I'd have to get a job in oil.
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2 comments:
Another reason we're so cool. I too am the type that doesn't possess a particular accent. It's just how things are. My boss told me that, which causes her to question my southernicity. Yup, I just made that up. So, I think I'm still cool whether I have an accent or not. Having dabbed in other languages though does make my pronunciations a bit more fun to listen to. Wow, that's a lot of comment.
Strangely enough, my accent comes out more now that I'm up north. But Emily has a heavier accent so that's probably why.
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