You need to learn how to use punctuation.

The written word is suffering from abuse.

Too many people are ... typing sentences like this.

Using unnecessary ellipses. Sometimes, adding commas in weird, places like this.  Or ... committing mortal sins, by doing ... BOTH!

Ugh. It makes reading your tripe even more painful than listening to a lipless person smack on vanilla pudding.

So (again) I come to the rescue of the helpless. If you're wondering when it's appropriate to use an ellipses (...) or a comma (,) or any sort of punctuation, I offer the following advice:

Spell it out.

Don't use an actual comma. Type "comma." Keep your fingertips far away from the period key and simply type "ellipses." When you're excited, end your sentence with "exclamation point."

An example:

Hey everyone exclamation point Here's my monthly newsletter ellipses just for you exclamation point So comma how're you doing question mark I've got some exciting news ellipses I'm getting a new couch exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point smiley face Isn't that awesome question mark exclamation point It's red comma with black spots comma like something from the fifties period I just love it so much ellipses and Muffy my puddle parentheses that's pug and poodle mix exclamation point parenthesis will look sooo cute sitting on it exclamation point exclamation point Well ellipses that's all for this month period 

Love ya comma 

Stephie

Upon reading your words, if you find any of the punctuation markers jarring, simply delete it. If it seems appropriate, replace it with the proper symbol. 

Here's the paragraph (although not perfect, we're not going to give the fictitious Stephie that much credit) once edited:
Hey everyone! Here's my monthly newsletter ... just for you! So, how're you doing? I've got some exciting news: I'm getting a new couch! Isn't that awesome? It's red with black spots like something from the fifties. I just love it so much, and Muffy my puddle (that's pug and poodle mix) will look sooo cute sitting on it! Well, that's all for this month.
Love ya,
Stephie

See? With all of that extraneous crap deleted, Stephie's IQ appears higher. She's now on par with a jam jar!

If you desire another punctuation filter, I strongly suggest one of the verbal persuasion. Just read your little note out loud. (Side note: This is actually great to do after writing anything. Take it from a professional writer, you'll catch mistakes you'd never notice on screen or paper.)

And with that, I bless you and wish you better written communication exclamation point