Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Things went downhill when Han Solo got email.

It only took a few days before the flood of so-called surveys splashed into Han Solo's email.

Not sure how to handle the situation, he did what most new-to-the-Internet types do. He answered the questions.

[The following questions are from an actual "survey" that was posted in a MySpace friend's bulletin from this morning.]

1) Have you ever taken a shower with another person?
Person, no. Wookie? Yes.

2) Who ended your last relationship?
I did. With a gun.

3) What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Dusting the instrument panel on the Falc.

4) Have you ever been in love?
Once. Tasted like scotch.

5) Where is your mom at?
Obviously not here.

6) Last text you got?
"Want 2 go get mud baths l8r? J/K buddy." from Lando Calrissian

7) Something you are excited about?
Chewy's bald spot is spreading. He looks like a pimple.

8) Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?
Leia can!

9) Do you regret your past relationship?
Only meeting that Kenobi jackass. ... Just kidding. He's alright.

10) What are you doing tonight?
Playing cards with the Wookies.



11) What is the last thing you said aloud?
Your clothes are that way. The door is that way.

12) What was the last thing you had to drink?
Technically blood. The last thing I said caused me to get punched.

13) What are you doing tomorrow?
Visiting Endor for vacation. I've got a cabin there.

14)Where is your dad?
Not with my mom, I can guaran-damn-tee.

15) Last girl you talked on the phone with?
Leia.

16) Last guy you talked on the phone with?
Luke.

22) Where was your default picture taken?
My cabin on Endor. An Ewok took it for me.

23) Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
I'm not answering that.

24) Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
Never befriend those you kiss.

25) Who was the last person you drove with?
Chewy.

26) Where’s your favorite place to be?
A warm woman on a cold night.

27) Name something that made you laugh today?
Getting punched in the face, actually. Such a tiny woman's fist.

28) Would you ever kiss the last person you kissed again?
Doesn't look like that's going to happen.

29) If you could move somewhere else, where would you?
Not Alderaan, that's for sure.

30) Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Among other things.

31) Do you believe exes can be friends?
I don't believe currents can be friends.

32) Do you prefer to call or text?
I just show up. If you're lucky.

33) Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Myself in the reflection of the Falc's hood.

34) Was yesterday better than today?
Not yet. But it's not 5, either.

35) Can you live a day without TV?
Yes. But it can't live a day without me.

36) What are you listening to?
Really?

37) What is your ring tone?
It's that sound Chewy makes when he's angry.

39) Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
Two nights ago. It's how I got this soon to be scar on my back.

40) Would you rather watch football or baseball?
Football. Especially when Mygeeto is playing.

41) Coke or Pepsi?
Coke. Unfortunately it's not legally shipped to this end of the galaxy. But that doesn't stop me.

42) Beer or Liquor?
Depends on present company and how drunk I must get first.

43) What is your favorite holiday?
I hate them all equally.

44)Are you currently wearing shoes?
No. Is that important?

1 comment:

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