This random day deserves a random blog.

On a typical work day, I wish for a snack around 10 AM.

This is a typical work day.

Knowing that I had no food hiding in my office, I decided to ignore the groans from deep inside my gut.

Sometime around 10:30, I opened a drawer to grab my hand lotion.

And I found a banana.

Granted, I accidentally opened my snack drawer, but who knew there was a banana in there?

So I did what any normal person would do, I checked it for spots and ate it.

Full of fructose and thinking this day couldn't get any better, I continued on with my work and my other normal activities.

One of those activities being the daily back-and-forth email with my mom.

Today's email contained the sentence "OMGWTF that would be so funny."

Um, what?

Did my mother type that? I don't even do that abbreviation crap. Ever. I rebelled against it when I was 12; I'm rebelling against it now.

I would assume my 55 year old, techo-phobic, proper-English advocate of a mother would do the same.

So the only conclusion I can draw is that my mother has been kidnapped by a high schooler hoping that someone will cough up money for the old broad. Only he hasn't fully thought this plan thorough yet, so in the meantime he's responding to emails.

He replied too quickly, though. Probably because my mother is kicking him and trying to bite. She's feisty like that. But I can tell when an email isn't from my mother. Any daughter would know an email from her mother.

So I'm going to save the day and save my mom! I'm going to her work where I'll wait in the entry hall of her office. Luring the teenage kidnapper out with promises of beer.

As he goes through the door and steps onto the tiled surface, I'll toss out the banana peel from my snack. He'll slip and go sliding across the entryway and out the front door for the rest of the world to take care of.

Then Mom and I shall dine on almonds and discuss the finer things in life. Like Wintergeen Life Savers.