Haikus about abode shopping are therapeutic.

The Queen is looking for a new place to put her throne. And the process sucks balls.


Craigslist is awesome.
But over-posters are not.
Stop spamming the site!


First place was so cool.
'Til the drunk hobo arrived.
Malt liquor at noon!

"I am from San Fran
And I wouldn't pay that much."
Thank you, drunk hobo.

Rooftop patio
With crazy, spiral staircase.
I'm SO scared of heights.


Second place? Not bad.
Laundry room/bathroom hybrid?
Okay. Now it's bad.

Built in the sixties.
Austin Powers, is that you?
You come with this place?

The garden was nice.
But the flowers smelled like balls.
Seriously. Balls.


Third place was AWESOME!
Talk about right size, right price!
Exclamation point!

Almost signed the lease.
Then learned of all the crime.
Thanks, Dallas PD.

Break ins, thefts and rape?
Some things you don't joke about.
That place wasn't safe.