I'm glad I still have health insurance. I almost needed it.

I am an exerciser. More specifically, I walk. A lot.

Sometimes, I'm lucky enough to have someone to walk with. Usually it's my friend Christina. But we'll get to her later.

I walk because it's good for me. It makes my heart and muscles stronger. It increases my balance and endurance. And (most importantly) it makes me all slender and lean and sexified.

But tonight? Oh, tonight, it could've gotten real ugly.

Chris (she goes by Chris) and I were crossing the street. At a red light. Pedestrian crossing light glaring like an angry nun.

Being Sesame Street kids (I can't speak for Chris, but I was a pupil of Kermit & Friends' teachings) I know that looking both ways before crossing the street is vital. Otherwise, you could end up roadkill.

Look to the left. Assess. Look to the right. Check for cars. Then look to the left again. Assess again. If the coast is clear, if danger seems like a distant chance, feel free to cross.

Tonight, we looked left. There were standing cars at the red light. We looked to the right. Nothing - no one was turning into our path. We looked at the WALK sign. It still said walk. We looked to the left. Cars were still standing. All signs pointed to YES.

So we stepped into the street. Took about five steps.

Then Chris shouts something that I couldn't make out. Right before she grabs me around the waste and I'm pushing against some gold SUV.

Either I'm Superman and able to stop moving vehicles with my sheer might (thank you, walking muscles) or Chris's shriek made the woman aware that she was about to plow down two innocent pedestrians.

All she could do was mouth, "I'm sorry."

Perhaps I should've fallen to the ground. Or shouted. Or done anything. But I looked her in the eye and then finished crossing the street.

I'm going to stick to trails from now on.