I complained about having too many weddings to go to, and then the universe tortures me with even more.

They just keep piling up. And now, being engaged, I worry that I’m soon going to be part of the problem for someone else.

There’s a lot of financial pressure for being the friend of someone getting married. In addition to travel costs for the wedding (gas or plane ticket, car rentals, hotel rooms, on-the-road meals) there’s a shower to shell out cash for. There’s a bachelorette party with it’s own set of travel costs, hotel rooms, party favors. What ever happened to going to a bar and getting shots? And then hope some dopey guy pays for them before slinking away?

If you’re in the wedding, you probably have some (god-awful) outfit to pay for. And no matter how hard the bride “tries” to make it somewhat reusable, you’ll never wear it again. Because you didn’t pick it out yourself (the exception being the bride that says, “Get a black dress. Whatever you want.”) I don't care how cute the to-the-floor, iridescent purple dress is--re-hemming it does not make it socially acceptable. Then there are uncomfortable shoe requirements. (I read in my how-to-be-a-bride guide that bridesmaid shoes are supposed to hurt because you want your friend to prove themselves. True story.) Some brides insist you pay to get your hair styled or your nails done. Oh, and there used to be a bridal luncheon as a thank-you, but that seems to have fallen by the wayside. Heaven forbid you thank your party with a simple cucumber sandwich and glass of iced tea.

Then there are gifts. Not just a single gift. Multiple gifts. There’s a gift form the hostess(es) of the shower to the bride (as if the party isn’t gift enough?). There are gifts given at the bachelorette party (again, isn’t the bride getting a free night/weekend out?). Then there’s a wedding gift. If the couple is having a couple’s shower, there’s also a shower gift.

Call me nuts, but it hit overkill about two showers ago. And six weddings ago. And literally thousands of dollars ago.

I love my friends. But I’m reaching the point where I can’t afford them. And it really sucks because now the bar has been set and I’m left wondering—do they feel all of this stuff is necessary for my guy and me? Because I think I speak for both of us when I say that we don’t need it.

I just want my family and friends to come to the wedding and drink the booze, eat the food, dance to the music, sweat and have a good time. If we don’t get a new toaster out of the deal, it’s not the end of the world. We’ve survived thus far with the old one.