I shall begin this post by saying that I love weddings. I really do.
I love the idea of people being in love for the rest of their lives. I love the idea of bringing all of your friends and family together for one big party. And I love the idea of over-sized baked goods.
In my short life, I’ve been in around 15 or so weddings. I’ve been a flower girl. A junior bridesmaid. A bridesmaid. A maid of honor. And a house party person. I’ve bought dress after dress. Worn panty hose (gasp!). Limped in horrid shoes. Puffed my sleeves. Tossed rose petals.
I’m an expert.
As for the number of weddings that I’ve simply attended, I’ve lost count. Seriously. The number surpasses 30 for sure. But that’s when I ran out of digits and miscellaneous body parts to count with.
Perhaps I should’ve tally-marked my ass, but I digress.
The wedding madness needs to stop. Please. I can’t afford it.
Within the last eight months alone, my lovely boyfriend and I’ve been to five weddings. That’s not including the ones we’ve missed.
That’s not including the two in the next month. Or the one I’m in come April.
Or another confirmed two that are creeping up before 2009 closes. With the very likely chance of at least three added in the meantime.
That’s not taking into consideration that for some of these weddings, we’ve bought plane tickets along with presents from Target. Or we’ve had to get cheap hotel rooms with dimly-lit bathrooms. Or we’ve driven for hours,repeatedly filling our tanks with gas (side note: we’re so glad it’s cheaper now) and consult ancient maps. We’ve rented cars. We’ve recycled outfits. We’ve skipped meals.
I can’t speak entirely for my significant other, but I’m damn near broke. I love you, friends, but I can’t buy any more toasters. Target stops you at some point.
“Another toaster, Miss Johnson?” the cashier asks.
I reluctantly shove my Visa his way. He stares at it. “Get out. Get out now. You’ve reached your toaster quota for the year.”
So in light of my recent wedding-induced, financial situation, I’m offering (read: begging) you to let me take some photos of you as a present. Engagement photos. Bridal portraits. Something. I’m a photographer again, you know.
This is where I’d post a link to my site, if only it were complete.
But there’s no time for that right now. I’ve got some bridal shower gifts to take care of. I wonder what state my Master Card is in?
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3 comments:
Lucky for you I am the singlest of the single people. I loved this post. And I forgot to call you today. I'm sorry! Raincheck?
(Made a typo on my original comment. Had to delete it.)
I accept rain checks. (smiley face)
UPDATE: Add another confirmed wedding to 2009. That's right. Less than 12 hours after this post, someone else got engaged to someone else.
I'm going to have to start selling blood.
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