I've tried on like 30 wedding gowns, and every time one touched my body, someone would say, "Well, it doesn't matter what dress you pick; you'd look great in a potato sack."
This is people's way of supporting a bride's ultimate decision, because they might actually hate her dress. But rule number one is "don't tell the bride you hate her dress." It's better to hate the groom than the dress. Seriously.
Anyway, the prankster in me is very very tempted to get a potato sack. And why not? After bleaching it white, cinching the waste with a rope, maybe sewing on some other sacks for ruffles, it could be quite pretty. I watch Project Runway. I've seen what a gay man can do with some red thread and a trash bag. If that concoction is acceptable for a cocktail party, my potato sack dress will be a wedding celebration sensation!
Not to mention how cheap a potato sack is. I mean, gowns are hundreds if not thousands of dollars. How much are potato sacks? Free? Maybe ten cents? Thread is less than a dollar. I've already got some needles. This could be a fun craft project.
The only problem is the scratchy material of a potato sack. It wouldn't be attractive for the bride to break out in hives as she's walking down the aisle. So I guess I'd have to line it with something like an old T-shirt. I've got a few of those. Heck, it could be my something blue.
My fiance and I are already going to honeymoon in Ireland to celebrate our drunken heritage. So a potato sack would fit in nicely with out under-stated theme. Hell, it'd go great with the mashed potato bar. We could even sack race to the limo when we leave.
I'm going to have the best wedding ever.
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1 comment:
awesome.
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