It's the sun's fault. Part 3

A bottle of SPF 50 sunblock sat on a desk between two men.

"You are not allowed to have any contact with Jason prior to the initial hearing," Bruce Greyson, Esq. told his client as he adjusted his sunglasses. "None at all."

The Sun in his human form, uncrossed his legs and leaned forward in his chair. He placed his elbows on the attorney's desk and thought carefully before he responded. "You mean I can't shine down upon him?"

"No. And I strongly advise you not shine on any of his property, either."

The lurking Wind heard this and raced towards the heavens to inform the Clouds of what Greyson had said. They immediately cast deep shadows over Jason, the plaintiff's, home, work and self.

"What about the plant life surrounding his home?" the Sun asked. "It's going to die."

The lawyer pulled a sheet of paper out from under a pile of papers. He slid it towards his client. "I've already filed a motion to protect you in the event that any of Jason's property is damaged by lack of light."

"What?" I can be sued again if his grass dies?"

The attorney nodded. "It's completely unfair and backwards."

"Damned if I do. Damned if I don't. Literally." the Sun mumbled to himself.

The attorney collected the remaining papers on his desk and slid them into a file. "I'm not going to lie. This case is ridiculous. But we have to take it seriously. This is a country where restaurants lose millions of dollars if some jerk spills her own coffee. The jury isn't going to rely on simple logic.

"The prosecution is trying to fill the jury box with light-skinned, red-heads who've all had serious burns. The prosecution is also going to say that you beam down harmful, UV rays despite the harmful nature of prolonged exposure and humans."

"But parts of the world need those rays! They kill harmful bacteria and clean the ocean and ..."

"I know, Son. I know. And we're going to use that in your defense. But you have to remain calm. They're going to try and prove that you're reckless, uncaring and in cahoots with sunscreen manufacturers. We're going to try and argue that you aren't getting any more powerful, but that the Ozone is getting thinner..."

"She's been working very hard trying to lose that weight," the Sun added.

"She what?"

"Nevermind."

The lawyer shook his head as if trying to remove the idea. "This is the first case of its kind. No one has ever taken a celestial body to court. We have to be careful."

They spoke for another ten minutes, then the Sun had to return to his rightful place in the sky as the clouds protected him by protecting his enemy.