Enjoy two phobias for the price of one!

The office where I'm working today is an acrophobics nightmare.

In order to get to the restroom, I have to walk down a three-story high balcony/hallway hybrid from hell. Every time I need to go somewhere in this office, I have to psych myself up to even get out there, and then I stick to the wall where I'm least likely to plummet to my untimely death.

Right now, I have to pee. Ten minutes ago, I had to pee.

So ten minutes ago, I walked along the wall towards the restroom when I was a tiny speck descend from the ceiling.

Take into consideration that I don't have the world's best vision. But I'm fantastic at spotting spiders. Which is what I did.

That little eight-legged fucker was dangling in my way. And I couldn't get to the bathroom.

It was already bad enough that I had to pee very very very badly. And that I had been holding it in for an hour trying not to go down the hallway. And that my desk is within earshot of a fucking fountain!

But even the pressure on my overfull bladder couldn't get me to cross paths with a spider. Three stories in the air. Over concrete. That's a long way down, even without an arachnid attacked to your neck.

Had a clown walked by, I would have surely died.

Luckily that didn't happen. But now I'm just going to sit here in my desk and probably piss myself. Cause there's no way in hell I'm touching a spider.

I hate spiders.

I really hate spiders.

And I really hate heights. So much that I'm too embarrassed to type about the time I nearly fainted at a museum in Paris and Cooter had to carry me out as I was having a panic attack.

But I'd rather pee my pants then cross a spider in the air while I myself am in the air. I can always wash my pants.