Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Don't anger the machine ghosts.

Call me a nutter if you must, but I have a very firm belief that machines have feelings.

My computer has both good and bad days.

My phone just needs to be alone from time to time.

And my camera takes things personally.

It's true. These electronics feed off of my emotions. And if I'm thinking something that can be construed negatively in any way, my machines punish me.

Take my computer, for example. For the first three years of its life, it was running like a top. It was fast, the screen never blinked, the keys never stuck.

Then one day, I mention to a coworker, "Yeah, I want a new computer, but there's nothing wrong with my old one." Then wind blew heavily against the windows. Despite my better judgement I added, "Perhaps it'll get sick so I can get a new one."

No joke, later that day, Stone Fox (yes, that's its name) crashed for the first time.

"Baby, don't do this to me! I didn't mean it!" I yelled at the blue screen of death. I got a cursor in response. But nothing to click on.

Over a lesson learned, two hundred dollars and some days later, it worked like a top again. Which is great. Because now we'll be together until the day I die. I did buy an external hard drive, though. 80 gigs will be nothing by next year. (I love you, computer.)

My phone, on the other hand, isn't really mad at my threatening to replace it. Because I'm not. But a new iPhone will be joining the family come my boyfriend's birthday. And my little iStone Fox (yes, that's its name) has been finicky ever since.

It's not running excessively slow or anything. Or even freezing up too often. But something's just off. Maybe it's because my wallpaper keeps defaulting to a photo of a middle finger. Come to think of it, I don't remember putting that on the phone in the first place ...

The latest electronic to tell me to fuck off is my old point-and-shoot digital camera. Ever since I got the pro camera, ol' Lumix (it's not an Apple product, so it's not a Stone Fox) has been withholding photos from me. That's right. Withholding photos.

When I empty the camera onto my computer, everything goes smoothly. Then I'll be out and about, ready to take some photos and I'll notice there are three or four pictures remaining on my card.

It's my camera's way of giving me a raspberry.

This has happened a few times now. And it never happened until I bought the DSLR. Very bizarre indeed.

So treat your electronics well, my friends. Because they're bigger parts of your life than you may realize. And these little machines aren't afraid to teach you that lesson the hard way.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

I agree. I would also introduce my new stuffed animals to my old ones so no one would get their feelings hurt.