Perhaps you shouldn't stalk your potential customers.

I am a home renter. I've been a home renter for the last eight years (holy crap, really?).

More specifically, I've been an apartment renter. And I like it.

But the American Dream includes owning a small piece of land. And my husband and I will be pursuing this dream in 2011. So I joined one of those harmless real estate websites where we can innocently browse neighborhoods.

You know, do some research in advance.

Only, it's become creepy.

Yesterday morning, for example, I received a phone call around four in the afternoon.

"I noticed you were looking for homes on our website earlier today ..." said the voice.

Um, what?

I know a freaky amount about Internet analytics. I worked at a company that created websites, for crying out loud. And I still freelance for websites.

I know about analytics.

I know that companies will track web users to understand their habits (the average amount of time people spend on Website X is twenty-four seconds).

So I'm not at all surprised that the website a) knew I was there and b) logged in.

What surprised me is that only hours later, a human called me and then called me out on it.

"You seem to be interested in the ___ area."

Creepy. Very creepy. You know, my computer has a webcam, too. Did that freaky ass monger hack it? Because now I'm paranoid as shit.

What else does that guy know? Does he know that my hair was in curlers and I was wearing a robe? That I was drinking a lukewarm green tea? That Bridezillas or some equally embarrassing show was on in the background?

Don't call me saying you know where I've been. I'm pretty sure that's legally stalking. And if not, it's damn close.