Thanks, chicky movie, for making me stupider.

I love action movies. I love comedic movies. And if there's a movie that has both explosions and laughter, I'm all over it.

I'm also a female. Which means that I should like chick flicks.

Should.

I admit, there are a few that I'll consider good. But my all-time list of favorites doesn't contain a single chick movie.

Because most of them suck balls. Big, sweaty, buffalo balls.

The characters are weak and predictable. The story lines are weak and predictable. The endings are weak and predictable.

Seeing the pattern?

But they're tricky, too, these shitty feel-good, girly movies. A preview will show some powerful NY woman laughing with her friends, or getting into a funny brawl. And they make me think, "Hey, I would enjoy that."

But I know better. I will save my money. And then DVR the movie when my husband isn't home (since we already pay for satellite).

Then, I will watch the offending movie. And I'll get mad at the end. Because the movie is always bad, will always be bad. It's always lackluster and will always be lackluster. It's always a horrible (suicidal) way to kill ninety minutes (and myself).

Call me crazy, but I want to think.  I should refuse to watch anything from now on unless Chris Nolan is working on it.

Anyway, I haven't learned my lesson. I will continue to watch the chicky dicky sticky movies when no one's around.

Maybe I should wait until it's lady time. Perhaps I'll like them more.