I am a warrior.

For some drunk reason, I signed up for Warrior Dash.

It's a 3.5ish mile run through the brambles of Forney, Texas, that's peppered with crazy obstacles like running over cars and swimming across a creek.

I've never entered a running thing before. Well, I was forced to walk a 5K for work once, but walking isn't the same as running.

But Warrior Dash seemed fun. You get muddy as hell and chug a beer when you're finished (because that's hydrating). Oh, and you get a viking helmet.

So the absurdity of the whole thing made me sign up. And now I'm having to train a bit so I don't look like a total jackass (not that you look particularly cool in a viking hat while racing through the trees).

But at least Dash is forcing me to run more. And that's good for my health and stuff. I've always wanted to be a good runner, but I've always sucked at it. But now I have my ugly finger shoes and the intriguing call of a Warrior Dash T-shirt to get my legs pumping.

And believe me, they're pumping. Pumping all the way to the finish line and a cold brewsky.