I can't stop eating pie.

There's a third of a key lime pie in my fridge.

Yesterday, it was half of a key lime pie.

The day before? Three quarters of a key lime pie.

Where is it all going?

Apparently my ass. Because every spare second I have, I run to the fridge and steal a small sliver. And I know Cooter isn't eating it (or is he?). Because he has far more self control than I do (and he's been working on that bar of bacon chocolate next to our fruit basket).

Yes, you read that right. Bacon chocolate. That's chocolate with chunks of bacon in it. I, a vegetarian, am marrying the most carnivorous man ever to dine on earth.

And I'm okay with that. Because male vegetarians are pussies (except for Paul McCartney and a few others).

Contradictory? Perhaps. Blame it on the sugar crash. Perhaps it's time for more pie.