That's great.

What phrase am I trending right now?

"That's great."

Which isn't great.

I find myself saying it after just about anything.


Friend: I painted my walls this bright color.
Me: That's great.

Friend: I ate dinner at this fancy restaurant and had the pie.
Me: That's great.

Friend: My boss gave me the afternoon off.
Me: That's great.


I'm starting to really annoy myself. Because even if those who hear me say "that's great" aren't aware of my habit, I am. And in my head, it sounds sarcastic.

I try to add other words, "that's really great" or "that's so great." Or substitute, "that's awesome" or "that's nice." But I always end up saying "that's great" in the end.

When did I become such a lukewarm conversationalist? Instead of doing the nice thing and asking a question in return (What inspired this color? Ooh, what other desserts did they have? What are you going to do on your free afternoon?), I simply drop a cinderblock onto the conversation.

Maybe I just need to sleep more. That would be so great.

Shit.

Disneyland makes me want to be a better person.

Why have I never ever ever ever been to Disneyland before now?

Why have I wasted the first 28 years of my life not going to Disneyland?

Why am I not extending my LA trip to go to Disneyland six more times?

If you haven't been to Disneyland, book a trip and go now. It's amazing. I can't even tell you how amazing it it.

It's ... awesome. It's the coolest, most well-thought-out, organized, funny, happy place I've ever been.

It's brilliant.

It's so brilliant that my telling you to go to Disneyland is now officially the most important thing I've ever done. In my life.

I think I need to eat some drugs.

All I'm saying is that Charlie Sheen may die on the back of a dragon in the near future.

But until then, he's coming up with some platinum-set gems. I would kill to have that way with words for ten seconds.