What's my name again?

I go by my middle name. Always have.

It's not unheard of for anyone to go by their middle name. However, it's much more rare for a woman to versus a man.

But as I collect years, I discover more and more ways that going by my middle name is a gigantic cluster fuck of shit.

Did you know you're supposed to sign all legal documents (that means checks, too) with your first name? Even if you go by your middle? Sure, it sounds easy to you first-namers. But trust me, it isn't.

My driver's license. My passport. My social security card that I signed when I was eight years old. All proudly display my middle and last name in my spiky scrawl. Not my first and last and certainly not all three names.

My checks don't even have my first name on them. I've been paying my taxes and/or bills with those checks for over 10 years. The electric company and the IRS had no problems taking them.

But now that I want to contribute to my retirement, my middle name doesn't cut it. And the bank is throwing a hissy fit because my first name appears nowhere on my check.

It's me, I swear! I've got a quarter of a century of shit with my name, face, and signature on it to prove I am who I say I am. There's my Wet 'n' Wild season pass from when I was 10. There's my first driver's license when I was 15. I have countless friendship documents from elementary school that proudly feature my name and school photo. I have the title to my car. Two passports. Credit cards without my first name mentioned.

What do you want from me? I'll give you anything.

Except for a check with my first name on it.