The beard is gone.

Every winter, Cooter Brown grows a scraggly beard. I made a gif of the removal, but Facebook doesn't allow for gifs. So it shall live here.

Isn't that Pinteresting?

Pinterest is the latest social Internet sensation where everybody (read: mostly women) post cutesy things that make them giggle with glee.

It's also the latest thing to fill me with hate.

I tried to like it, I really did. I gave it an honest go. But the sugary sweetness of it all just left me bitter. I can only take so many exclamations of "yum," so many "things I must try," and insane examples of nail art.

Pinterest makes you follow tons of people upon signing. There is no way around this. So all of those dumbasses on Facebook that you won't unfriend (but won't pay attention to either) are assaulting you on Pinterest with their love of toned tummies (despite their out-of-shape profile photos), beachside lounge chairs (in their "Places I Want To Go" boards), and pictures of cake balls.

Oh God, there are so many cake balls.

I hate cake balls.

And it's all so ... cute. Where's the sarcasm? The bitterness? The clever comedy? 

I love me some DIY, don't get me wrong, but I really can't take another lampshade made out of ribbons. It isn't cute! It looks like shit! Why are you saying it's cute and that you want to try it and it'll look good in your child's bedroom ... when you have kids someday ... by the way you're not dating anyone and I don't think you've been shopping at the sperm bank,  have you?

That's the other thing. Why are there so many posts from childless, single people about their weddings and children's outfits? I find that really creepy. If you have a secret when-I-get-married book, cool. Fine. Stuff it under your bed or hide it in your closet where it belongs. Don't put it on Pinterest where everyone you knew in high school can now see it.

And judge you. And know that I am fucking judging you. I'm not even going to fake nice about that.

Oh, and add to all of this that Pinterest is basically a legal nightmare with copyright responsibility. But I won't even get into that. I'm just going to listen to another one of my clients ask me how they can increase online interactions within their preferred customer base using Pinterest.

While I stab myself with a pin under the table. So I feel something other than anger.